I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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