Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
