she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
