I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
