we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
