just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize