Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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