The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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