okay pat passed out under dana's car
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
