i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize