i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
