I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
