where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize