No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
