Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
