We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
