Me too!
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
