My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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