This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Blood and glitter go together right?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
