found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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