I never want to see another naked old woman again.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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