it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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