Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
