I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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