god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I just gift wrapped bread.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
This baby is an asshole
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
