Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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