i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
