you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
