i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
We need to get me chipped asap
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
