You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
