Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
