Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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