David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
