is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
there was a trapeze. enough said
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
