That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
