Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
