we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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