so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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