Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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