Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Enjoy the penises
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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