I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
