a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
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