Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
