Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(205): View more from Alabama

Don't make out with my wife yet

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(425): View more from Washington

my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.

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(917): View more from New York City

Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.

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(912): View more from Georgia

well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.

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(530): View more from California

The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.

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(248): View more from Michigan

i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service

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