I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Randomize
