Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
