I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
