SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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