Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
