I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
