TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
