My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
