32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
