Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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