This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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