You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
You can't special order awesome
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
