i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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