Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Everything about him screamed your future.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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