one two three fourrrrnication!
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize