no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
