Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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