yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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