i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
