You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
No subtext here. People are naked.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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