I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Randomize
