Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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