I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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