If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
