The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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