You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You made out with two different species that night
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
what the fuck happened to the tacos
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize