Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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